i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
