She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
