why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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