So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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