even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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