I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
