i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
