ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
