this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
