hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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