We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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