I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
