why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
