he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
