I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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