Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
