Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my poor anus
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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