and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
