No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
