roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
