Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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