Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
