I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
