can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
