i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
