Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
