Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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