I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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