i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
