so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
