I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
