It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
