There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
