Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
