yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
