she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
