If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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