I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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