Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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