please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
