tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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