Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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