so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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