just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
