Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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