i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
