I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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