ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
