when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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