You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
