god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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