Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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