i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
