This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
